The Mastering Of The Art Of Self Pleasure

I didn't know so many people spent safe sexual moments alone as I do. But as we get older it's not as taboo to admit about masturbation. I've talked to at least two female companions that have bragged about breaking dildos ( of the penis sort /or penis & bunny) . Both were confused of what to do with the devices when their doom came about. I suggested that they bury them in the backyard . That's how I have treated canines that have brought me joy. I figured that if the toy had been enjoyed to the point where it didn't work no more a wake and proper burial was in order.

" How can I say goodbye to what we had !!!"
My one friend said her toy which she dubbed " The Big Bang Theory" didn't go without a fight .

Before it went to that big sex toy store in the sky it buzzed at a speed she didn't know it was capable of pop fizzed and damn there set her nether region on fire... but it was the best orgasm she ever had.
These two friends are sexually liberated and didn't mind sharing these tales with me . Of course i have come across women that aren't as open about their vibrating friends and when questioned about them they'll swear the vibrator are for their back. Then I ask the question well why isn't shaped like a hand so I can use it too?
Men just don't have it as good .. when a woman has a sex toy it's a sign of her sexual growth and independence .
If we have something underneath our beds men are freaks.
I'm glad that all I need is lotion and imagination to get me there.

Sheletha and Romina aren't going to like this one

Janice Dickinson may have something against large black women and think they have no place in super modeling . But from these pics you can see she likes big black men and think they have a place in super models( even ancient ones).

I don't watch reality tv so I didn't realize whom she was when we were performing together in NYC . I was playing her off the whole night like I'm Cortney Gee (bleep) enjoy yourself....
Just cause I know Lance and DC will ask .. hell no I didn't hit that ..
dawg I wouldn't hit that with ya'lls thang !!!

Friday Night and this is all the love I'm going to be getting ...


Don't get it twisted ... ain't no love like puppy love .

Well human love is better but this is what my evening offers me .






Worst thing you can do when owning dogs is let them see you doing it. I have a bitch( female dog) that really believes she is my lady and any time I have company she paces back and forth in her kennel intimidating them. Looking at them like I would kill you if I could get out this cage.

Looking at me like , how could you ? I make sure to protect you , I've bared puppies for you to sell and you have the nerve to flaunt your women around in my face.

My stud dog Gotti is the worst he will walk in the room when I'm doing it and give me the look like you call that doggystyle...? Then hightail it away in disgust.

black history moment
Monday I have to go to court for a traffic ticket. When I was pulled over by the officer ( black cop) he was being real smug with me and I had to bite my lip to keep from going there with him.
My very good friend Romina was on my bluetooth hearing all that was said between the two of us and coaxed me into letting it ride . After he had wrote me the ticket and I had called him every black bastard I could beneath my breath she asked my why i had reacted the way i had toward the officer.

I told her that I was tired of policemen seeing me on a routine stop and preparing for trouble by unlocking their guns and having hand on weapon.
She didn't feel me .
I explained more .
I told her look I don't have a gun and here it is someone with a license to kill is threatening my existence . I don't appreciate it.

She questioned was it worth it to go to jail just because i wanted the officer to know I wasn't satisfied with his mistreatment of me .

Hell Yeah .. I am a revolutionary!!!!!
I informed her that many of our greatest leaders

have had to spend a day or two in the joint because they stood strong against injustices perpetrated against them or the masses
Power to the People ....and if ya'll don't hear from me by mid afternoon the man won and I'm in need of a rally or a march

hehehehehe

Can't afford to die ..
Let alone commit suicide. That's what a friend and I came up with . She was crying I mean really boo hooeying .. and I told her go on and cry they say tears cleanses your soul...
told her to give her's a deluxe car wash!!!! Then put some armor all on her life and keep it pushing .

Today if I ate a bullet sandwich I wouldn't leave nothing but bad credit to my kids .

So I have to be here ... if for no reason other than to torture my creditors...

THE LOVE DOCTOR:

Move to Georgia, what's on your mind ?


Just got off the phone with a friend who did the reverse migration and left Chitown and moved to Georgia . Not Atlanta, Ga. but Bumfugg, Ga.

She was complaining about how racist she felt the people were and how unfriendly she found them to be toward outsiders.
She asked me what I thought she should do.
I paused then hit her with yet another Geeism.
" There was a reason our recent ancestors left from down there ... and I just don't believe that reason has been bred out or is extinct."
I've been to the south and have had some great times there ( my seeds live in the ATL) .
But at this point in my life I'm cool with covert racism found in the north and like it served that way.
She is packing her bags and headed back home after just 5 months of being there ...

Just what the hell is in the Coke?
Joya Williams was about to get 1.5 million and now faces 10 years to give Pespi the secret .



I got boys that did less time for selling goo gobs of " The Real Thing ".

Well I know for certain from this mugshot she didn't use the money she did recieve to get her hair done. DAMN!!!!

Let's get ready to Rumble...

Carmelo Anthony has been snubbed as an All Star because of his weak ass back peddling punch thrown at Madison Square Garden . In Carmelo's defense he was in Da Garden.. hell Ali and Frazier fought at Da Garden.
And where better for a brawling big man to be on display than Vegas ...

David Stern has done enough to make the NBA not as exciting as it was back in the day... (that failed new ball experiment , letting the refs take things too seriously and allowing too many unfinished products into the league getting on the job experience)


I say let the fight ... like in the NHL
if someone is leaning on you too much or has elbowed you one too many time you should be allowed to give them the Kermit Washington / Rudy T treatment . Then do ten minutes in a penalty box and go right back to playing like nothing went down.

Spread The Word!!!

I can't just keep dropping the gems for myself and a few.. if you have a mailing list... herd them to this blog.

Thanks for the great comments ...

keep em coming.

Is there a age when
bumping uglies is just ugly?



I'm closing in on 40 and feel that I'm really in the prime of my sexual life
( not that I last as long as I used to nor want it as much as I once did) .
But my mental game in the bed is on deck. Meaning ...
I've learned to listen to her music other just go through the motions of what I think she wants me to do.
Even with this feeling of sexual prominence I damn sure don't think that 25 years from now I'm going to be still trying to get my freak on. Of course I don't plan on not having female companionship but I would like to think that I will by then grown to enjoy the company of the opposite sex and not be thinking of hitting that.
I'm sure many reading this are wondering just where in the hell is Cortney going with this post.
Ok here it is... found out that my elderly relative was still doing it and it tripped me out.
Fell asleep over their house after a big meal and was awaken by sounds coming from their room that sounded not like sex noises but more like over exertion and possible injury. I was frozen with the thought that my auntie might be doing the do . I mean they are like in their late 60's .

I thought to call 911 for aid then I was like damn they might be experiencing a cialis moment and were waiting for me to fall asleep so they could get their groove on.
Respectfully I gathered up my things and tip toed out of the house praying that neither one of them walked out the room naked looking for that towel ( don't act like ya'll don't know what towel I'm talking about either .. for the real freaks reading this I ain't talking bout the black towel either !!!)

I really can't bring myself to go back over the house ... How can I knowing my aunt is naughty and her dude who ain't even my uncle is tapping that ass ?

So I ask how old is too old to be doing it?

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

Who ever came up with that saying must have not dated the women I have had to bury in my ex girlfriend graveyard .
But I can tell you what will tick you off more than anything when you have broke up with someone ... is when your friends refuse to break up with them too.
I mean nothing will tick you off more than when you are sharing something about your ex that you don't speak to no more and they say yeah I just talked to them yesterday...
( especially if the reason you don't speak to them anymore is casue they don't call you and you are too egotistical to call them) WTF??!!!???
I know that sounds childish as hell but when I break up with someone I believe my friends should love me enough to loathe them.
Ok I've bared my soul on this one... what do ya'll think?