THE WORLD ACCORDING TO CORTNEY GEE
My Most Embarrassing Moment:
When you’ve been as luckless as I have been in this cruel business it takes alot to be crowned the most embarrassing moment , I mean to top having been booed in front of family members , bumped from the comedy line up when there was Hollywood execs looking for talent , or inciting a riot while MCing a Def Comedy Jam audition the moment has to be quite a tale of humiliation.
It’s always funny how these moments of deflatement start out as a light at the end of the tunnel but before it is over you find out that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. I believe that’s why this tale is the winner ... I remember sitting at home probably 2 days away from having my phone cut off and I recieved a call from an Indianapolis Promoter offering me what was to be my most rewarding payday up to that date to perform on Valentines Day at a concert along with some guy who sang named Brian McKnight ...
I’m talking about to the tune of $1700.00 and this money was being offered to a brother that was two days away from a phone cut off and already one week into an eviction . In other words if he had called two days later I wouldn’t have been able to accept the call and if he would have came to my apartment and knocked on my door I wouldn’t have answered it for fear it was the sheriff coming to put me out . I was in such a euphoric state I didn’t take the time to ask the particulars ( which is one of the key ingredients to embarrassing moments ...ignorance) . We tightened up the deal, contracts were overnighted along with half loot down and I recieved my ticket in which to travel. When I arrive into town I’m treated with such a respect that I’m almost uncomfortable I mean just a year before when I hadn’t appeared on tv these guys had me drive myself there , I performed on a collge campus where they had converted the indoor track into a stage area and I stayed in raggedy hotel . This trip was in total contrast to that I mean if the limo ride from the airport didn’t make me feel special what else could until I pulled up to my place of lodging which just so happened to be the eminent Canterbury Hotel made famous by the Mike Tyson trial .I enter my room and there is catered food there no wonder why the limo driver ignored me when I asked him to stop by McDonald’s ( damn I was so ghetto then ... ok ok I ‘ll admit it I’m still ghetto now I just dress better!) On my bed was an iteneriary of the days events ... days event’s I thought to myself I’m going to the mall catch a movie and try to see if anyone recognizes me from Comicview . I do all that was asked of me go to the radio station and be funny giv eaway tickets to the lucky callers . What was strange to me was the frequency that people were calling in order to see this show . I mean I thought I was talented but didn’t have a clue that I had become such a liked commodity in the business.I arrived at the Murat Theatre in as instructed at around 7:30 we did the sound check and I was wisked off to my lavished dressing room . Upon going to get dressed I see this tall thin built brother whom I find out is Brian McKknight and I go up to him and say “ Look man I’m sure that you can sing and everything ... but I’m not a true fan of mixing comedy and singing . I’ve always thought black folks put too much on the blend of humor and song . As a stand up artist I feel like you guys should stay in your arena and we stay in ours . But hey have a good set and do me a favor don’t stay up there too long I’m feeeling it tonight and don’t want to have wait on you. Now you have to understand that I am being such an ass because I’m under the assumption that I am the headliner , I’m not a fan of the radio so I couldn’t tell you who the number one artist in the country is and I don’t know who the hell this guy is although he does have a striking resembelence to one of the singers from take 6 .All I know is I’m getting paid a shit load of money I will have someplace to live when I get back to Cleveland and my phone will on so that I can brag to my friends about riding in a limo and staying in a nice ass hotel. All along Brian is just looking at me with this bewildered glaze and I walk away to get changed . No sooner than I get to the dressing room I get a thunderous knock at the door ... How dare they disturb a star before his coming out ...right? Cause that’s they type of shit I was tripping on . I open up the door and it’s Gino the promoter asking me had I lost my entire mind . I was thinking to myself damn he must know that I stole those nice Terry Clothe robes from the hotel ( and don’t sleep I still got them ,me and my girl still sit around on lazy Saturdays chillin in robes I’ve heisted from Hotels around the world ). I was like damn if it’s all like that I’ll take them out of my suit case and I’ll put them back. Gino was like Cortney the beauty of your behavior is you’re so oblivious to what’s going on they think you are just being the crazy ass hell funny comedian I told them you were other that that you would be fired . I was like fired over a couple of Terry cloth robes ? Gino was like hell nah fired for insulting the number one new artist in the country Mr Brian McKnight ... the headliner of the show .Never has one so big ever felt so small , I’m telling you I’ve never felt smaller in my life than when those words came outta his mouth . Here I am thinking that my ship had sailed in and I was just along for a ride on another man’s yacht .I went out to Mr McKnight’s dressing room which by the way was bigger than mine good thing I hadn’t seen that before I probably would have asked him to get the hell out and switch with me .I apologized and Brian was kind enough to come and watch me perform and told me he liked what I did onstage . Through the years now we have hung out and it gives him pleasure to tell of the night that a big man from BET COMICVIEW treated him like he was still singing in the choir .
My Most Embarrassing Moment:
When you’ve been as luckless as I have been in this cruel business it takes alot to be crowned the most embarrassing moment , I mean to top having been booed in front of family members , bumped from the comedy line up when there was Hollywood execs looking for talent , or inciting a riot while MCing a Def Comedy Jam audition the moment has to be quite a tale of humiliation.
It’s always funny how these moments of deflatement start out as a light at the end of the tunnel but before it is over you find out that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. I believe that’s why this tale is the winner ... I remember sitting at home probably 2 days away from having my phone cut off and I recieved a call from an Indianapolis Promoter offering me what was to be my most rewarding payday up to that date to perform on Valentines Day at a concert along with some guy who sang named Brian McKnight ...
I’m talking about to the tune of $1700.00 and this money was being offered to a brother that was two days away from a phone cut off and already one week into an eviction . In other words if he had called two days later I wouldn’t have been able to accept the call and if he would have came to my apartment and knocked on my door I wouldn’t have answered it for fear it was the sheriff coming to put me out . I was in such a euphoric state I didn’t take the time to ask the particulars ( which is one of the key ingredients to embarrassing moments ...ignorance) . We tightened up the deal, contracts were overnighted along with half loot down and I recieved my ticket in which to travel. When I arrive into town I’m treated with such a respect that I’m almost uncomfortable I mean just a year before when I hadn’t appeared on tv these guys had me drive myself there , I performed on a collge campus where they had converted the indoor track into a stage area and I stayed in raggedy hotel . This trip was in total contrast to that I mean if the limo ride from the airport didn’t make me feel special what else could until I pulled up to my place of lodging which just so happened to be the eminent Canterbury Hotel made famous by the Mike Tyson trial .I enter my room and there is catered food there no wonder why the limo driver ignored me when I asked him to stop by McDonald’s ( damn I was so ghetto then ... ok ok I ‘ll admit it I’m still ghetto now I just dress better!) On my bed was an iteneriary of the days events ... days event’s I thought to myself I’m going to the mall catch a movie and try to see if anyone recognizes me from Comicview . I do all that was asked of me go to the radio station and be funny giv eaway tickets to the lucky callers . What was strange to me was the frequency that people were calling in order to see this show . I mean I thought I was talented but didn’t have a clue that I had become such a liked commodity in the business.I arrived at the Murat Theatre in as instructed at around 7:30 we did the sound check and I was wisked off to my lavished dressing room . Upon going to get dressed I see this tall thin built brother whom I find out is Brian McKknight and I go up to him and say “ Look man I’m sure that you can sing and everything ... but I’m not a true fan of mixing comedy and singing . I’ve always thought black folks put too much on the blend of humor and song . As a stand up artist I feel like you guys should stay in your arena and we stay in ours . But hey have a good set and do me a favor don’t stay up there too long I’m feeeling it tonight and don’t want to have wait on you. Now you have to understand that I am being such an ass because I’m under the assumption that I am the headliner , I’m not a fan of the radio so I couldn’t tell you who the number one artist in the country is and I don’t know who the hell this guy is although he does have a striking resembelence to one of the singers from take 6 .All I know is I’m getting paid a shit load of money I will have someplace to live when I get back to Cleveland and my phone will on so that I can brag to my friends about riding in a limo and staying in a nice ass hotel. All along Brian is just looking at me with this bewildered glaze and I walk away to get changed . No sooner than I get to the dressing room I get a thunderous knock at the door ... How dare they disturb a star before his coming out ...right? Cause that’s they type of shit I was tripping on . I open up the door and it’s Gino the promoter asking me had I lost my entire mind . I was thinking to myself damn he must know that I stole those nice Terry Clothe robes from the hotel ( and don’t sleep I still got them ,me and my girl still sit around on lazy Saturdays chillin in robes I’ve heisted from Hotels around the world ). I was like damn if it’s all like that I’ll take them out of my suit case and I’ll put them back. Gino was like Cortney the beauty of your behavior is you’re so oblivious to what’s going on they think you are just being the crazy ass hell funny comedian I told them you were other that that you would be fired . I was like fired over a couple of Terry cloth robes ? Gino was like hell nah fired for insulting the number one new artist in the country Mr Brian McKnight ... the headliner of the show .Never has one so big ever felt so small , I’m telling you I’ve never felt smaller in my life than when those words came outta his mouth . Here I am thinking that my ship had sailed in and I was just along for a ride on another man’s yacht .I went out to Mr McKnight’s dressing room which by the way was bigger than mine good thing I hadn’t seen that before I probably would have asked him to get the hell out and switch with me .I apologized and Brian was kind enough to come and watch me perform and told me he liked what I did onstage . Through the years now we have hung out and it gives him pleasure to tell of the night that a big man from BET COMICVIEW treated him like he was still singing in the choir .
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home