THE WORLD ACCORDING TO CORTNEY GEE
About 7 years ago I took a trip to japan and was astonished by the things I didn't see ...
Greetings to all from your friend here in the Orient doing what I do best making groups of drunks in dimly lit rooms laugh . While I'm out here I'm doing my best to absorb some of the rich culture that the Asians have to offer but to be honest I'm seeing more of our ( Western ) culture while here . I'm in Tokyo right now ... they have McDonald's which is a real treat seeing no blacks workin the drive thru and frie machine or white people in the blue shirts supervising them. Everyone in the McDonald's was japanese which is fair seeing that I am in Japan . Was offered to go to Tokyo Disnedyland which cost about 80 dollars , now I was thinking for 80 dollars Mickey and Minnie are going to have to perform a live sex show ... and Darkwing Duck would have to blow Pluto . You know I was hoping that there would be more people dressed in the Geisha outfits walking around but noooooooooo All the ladies are into Tommy Hilfiger and the men wear Hugo Boss ... you talk about Ballin these people be clubbin do you hear me . Everyone has a cellular phone here even if they don't have a home phone . I saw a bag lady with a cellular phone no bullshit ... I was like who is this lady calling the homeless shelter to tell them she will be coming in a lil late ? I wouldn't be surprised that in twenty years the entire population of the country perishes from brain tumors.
Now most who know me understand that I'm not the tourist sight seeing type but there was one thing that pissed me off to the highest level of pistivity the fact that there is no Musuem in tribute to their most recognizable export " GODZILLA "
I mean how disrespectful is that ? We have Mount Rushmore in tribute to Ex Presidents that have only served for no more than two terms .... Where GODZILLA has been around since 1952 . He has kicked the shit outta Tokyo and Perry Mason. Came back from the depths of the Japan Sea to defend the japanese from Ghidrah ( monster x) and some cheesy ass aliens that looked like the locals in suits made out of Handy Wrap. How can you not have a statue erected in the middle of Tokyo in tribute their most influential ambassador of Good Will? American children would have not known how technologically advanced the japanese were if we didn't have to realize that each week after Godzilla stumped a mud hole in their ass they could rebuild it just so that he could come back next Sat afternoon and clear that shit out again.
In America we have the Statue of Liberty and that woman ain't even from the US ... how can the Japanese dog Godzilla ? In Chicago the have a statue of Micheal Jordan at the United Center ... yeah Mike has scored many points but has he ever jumped up 200 feet in the air to slam dunk Mothra? In Louisville there is a statue of Muhhammed Ali no doubt " The Greatest of his Era " but not even Muhhamed had to get em up with King Kong ... don't sleep those not knowing only in US diid Kong win .... the japanese version found him flat on his back counting Faye Wrays. In Minnesota Jesse The Body Ventura Has become the Govenor which is an incredible feat but never did Jesse defend the Tag Team Belt more than Godzilla ( he and Jet Jaguar blew out Megalon .... and let's not even begin to talk about the great matches he and Rodan treated us too) .Now maybe the japanese are punishing GODZILLA for that wasteful reincarnation that we suffered through this summer ...OK so he had a sex change , went to a bad plastic surgeon and didn't look shit like the GODZILLA we grew up knowing but he still was the KING OF MONSTERS .
Ok enough about The Beloved Behemoth of many .. had to speak up for him that's all...
I'm on a plane right now to go to Diego Garcia somewhere near India and Africa ... it's the base were the troops lax before hitting Iraq. So I feel like i'm doing some good lifting these soldiers spirits . If the world would listen to me and stop playa hatin on Slick Willie there wouldn't be a problem .I really don't know why People are trippin on the fact that our President is having sex ... hell people should be happy that he was getting his freak on cause as long as the President is having sex we have lil chance of going to war ( I mean ain't no man gonna fight after cummin ' the only thing a man will fight after orgasm is sleep or the woman that he came with before she did ..heheheheheheh ) have ya'll noticed ever since the witch hunt has begun Bill been itchy with the trigger finger ? Bill is like I might be going out but I'm not going out over a broad I banged ... I'm going with a bang . I bet Saddam Hussein is sending women over to the white house to gie the Prez some head so he calms the F$ck down.
I'm not upset with the President for having sex in the White House .. I'm upset with him for having sex with Ugly women .. I mean damn when you the President you don't sleep with Monica Lewinsky hell that don't even sound like someone you sleep with Lewisky sounds like someone you root for at a Hockey Game . He should have taken a page out of JFK's handbook he slept with Marilyn Monroe . JFK was a PIMP he had his woman sing happy birthday to him while his wife was next to him in front of a national televised audience ... remember Marilyn was like " Happy Birthday to You HappY Birthday Mr President .... Jackie Sat there rollin her eyes and probably said I can't believe you got this Bitch singin this song while I sit here... Kennedy was cool about his Mackdom though he was like Shuttup I'm the President ! Jacki was like yeah I'll shuttup no but I'm renting the car in Dallas and it's going to be a convertible .... Now that's a conspiracy theory ya'll hadn't thought of huh? Look at the tape Jackie knew when to duck down she was like oh big building .... ( duck down ) POWWWWWW no more birthdays for you .
About 7 years ago I took a trip to japan and was astonished by the things I didn't see ...
Greetings to all from your friend here in the Orient doing what I do best making groups of drunks in dimly lit rooms laugh . While I'm out here I'm doing my best to absorb some of the rich culture that the Asians have to offer but to be honest I'm seeing more of our ( Western ) culture while here . I'm in Tokyo right now ... they have McDonald's which is a real treat seeing no blacks workin the drive thru and frie machine or white people in the blue shirts supervising them. Everyone in the McDonald's was japanese which is fair seeing that I am in Japan . Was offered to go to Tokyo Disnedyland which cost about 80 dollars , now I was thinking for 80 dollars Mickey and Minnie are going to have to perform a live sex show ... and Darkwing Duck would have to blow Pluto . You know I was hoping that there would be more people dressed in the Geisha outfits walking around but noooooooooo All the ladies are into Tommy Hilfiger and the men wear Hugo Boss ... you talk about Ballin these people be clubbin do you hear me . Everyone has a cellular phone here even if they don't have a home phone . I saw a bag lady with a cellular phone no bullshit ... I was like who is this lady calling the homeless shelter to tell them she will be coming in a lil late ? I wouldn't be surprised that in twenty years the entire population of the country perishes from brain tumors.
Now most who know me understand that I'm not the tourist sight seeing type but there was one thing that pissed me off to the highest level of pistivity the fact that there is no Musuem in tribute to their most recognizable export " GODZILLA "
I mean how disrespectful is that ? We have Mount Rushmore in tribute to Ex Presidents that have only served for no more than two terms .... Where GODZILLA has been around since 1952 . He has kicked the shit outta Tokyo and Perry Mason. Came back from the depths of the Japan Sea to defend the japanese from Ghidrah ( monster x) and some cheesy ass aliens that looked like the locals in suits made out of Handy Wrap. How can you not have a statue erected in the middle of Tokyo in tribute their most influential ambassador of Good Will? American children would have not known how technologically advanced the japanese were if we didn't have to realize that each week after Godzilla stumped a mud hole in their ass they could rebuild it just so that he could come back next Sat afternoon and clear that shit out again.
In America we have the Statue of Liberty and that woman ain't even from the US ... how can the Japanese dog Godzilla ? In Chicago the have a statue of Micheal Jordan at the United Center ... yeah Mike has scored many points but has he ever jumped up 200 feet in the air to slam dunk Mothra? In Louisville there is a statue of Muhhammed Ali no doubt " The Greatest of his Era " but not even Muhhamed had to get em up with King Kong ... don't sleep those not knowing only in US diid Kong win .... the japanese version found him flat on his back counting Faye Wrays. In Minnesota Jesse The Body Ventura Has become the Govenor which is an incredible feat but never did Jesse defend the Tag Team Belt more than Godzilla ( he and Jet Jaguar blew out Megalon .... and let's not even begin to talk about the great matches he and Rodan treated us too) .Now maybe the japanese are punishing GODZILLA for that wasteful reincarnation that we suffered through this summer ...OK so he had a sex change , went to a bad plastic surgeon and didn't look shit like the GODZILLA we grew up knowing but he still was the KING OF MONSTERS .
Ok enough about The Beloved Behemoth of many .. had to speak up for him that's all...
I'm on a plane right now to go to Diego Garcia somewhere near India and Africa ... it's the base were the troops lax before hitting Iraq. So I feel like i'm doing some good lifting these soldiers spirits . If the world would listen to me and stop playa hatin on Slick Willie there wouldn't be a problem .I really don't know why People are trippin on the fact that our President is having sex ... hell people should be happy that he was getting his freak on cause as long as the President is having sex we have lil chance of going to war ( I mean ain't no man gonna fight after cummin ' the only thing a man will fight after orgasm is sleep or the woman that he came with before she did ..heheheheheheh ) have ya'll noticed ever since the witch hunt has begun Bill been itchy with the trigger finger ? Bill is like I might be going out but I'm not going out over a broad I banged ... I'm going with a bang . I bet Saddam Hussein is sending women over to the white house to gie the Prez some head so he calms the F$ck down.
I'm not upset with the President for having sex in the White House .. I'm upset with him for having sex with Ugly women .. I mean damn when you the President you don't sleep with Monica Lewinsky hell that don't even sound like someone you sleep with Lewisky sounds like someone you root for at a Hockey Game . He should have taken a page out of JFK's handbook he slept with Marilyn Monroe . JFK was a PIMP he had his woman sing happy birthday to him while his wife was next to him in front of a national televised audience ... remember Marilyn was like " Happy Birthday to You HappY Birthday Mr President .... Jackie Sat there rollin her eyes and probably said I can't believe you got this Bitch singin this song while I sit here... Kennedy was cool about his Mackdom though he was like Shuttup I'm the President ! Jacki was like yeah I'll shuttup no but I'm renting the car in Dallas and it's going to be a convertible .... Now that's a conspiracy theory ya'll hadn't thought of huh? Look at the tape Jackie knew when to duck down she was like oh big building .... ( duck down ) POWWWWWW no more birthdays for you .
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